Cartwheels and Pearls

I remember promising myself when I was very young that I would never be one of those women when I grow up who wanted weight loss surgery or to change their bodies.

But then I became her.

So dear current moms and future moms of daughters, keep the following in mind next time you look in the mirror.

Your daughter sees you as a beautiful and amazing person who gave her life. You are her biggest role model. Yes, criticizing her body will tear down her self-confidence but criticizing your own body will do the same. Your daughter is looking to you for how to view and love herself. If you can't love your own body, she's going to have a hell of a time learning to love herself. Every time she hears you say "I'm fat" or "I need to work out" or "I need to go on a diet," she's being taught that its normal for women to hate their body, even that she should hate her body too.

There's a little girl always watching you. You can tell her she's beautiful as many times as you'd like but if she doesn't believe it, it'll go in one ear and out the other. Start by loving yourself and tearing yourself down less and maybe she'll start to hear your words.

You can tell her it was her choice to over eat, restrict her eating, or to over-workout but really she learned she needed these behaviors from you. Society and the media will have their way with her but teach her to be strong and love herself before they can make her think she is not enough.

Moms, you are the biggest role models for your daughters so next time you look in the mirror, catch yourself before you tear yourself down.

Sincerely,
A daughter just trying to love herself

Almost anything is significantly easier if you have unlimited funds. That being said, most people do not have that privilege.

As a young person who lives on my own and maintains a healthy lifestyle, here's what I've discovered  as my keys to success on a budget:

1. Eat in season.
In season fruits and veggies= cheaper/ tastier.

2. Your freezer is your best friend
Chicken breast is on sale? STOCK UP AND FREEZE IT. Fruit starting to go bad (or spinach!) freeze it and pull it out later for a smoothie!

3. Stock up on $1 bars
My favorite midwestern grocery stores (Meijer and Kroger) have weeks where health bars like lara bars and cliff bars are only $1. Stock up and throw them in your purse, backpack, car, etc. for when you're starving! That way you're not tempted to spend some serious money on eating out!

4. Shop more often and only buy what you can eat.
Yes, you'll have to limit yourself but you really don't need that cantaloupe just because it's on sale. It's already going bad and plus you have so much other tasty food to eat! Why waste food?!

5. Oatmeal
I am gluten free and 80/20 paleo. My one big exception is oatmeal. A big can of store brand instant oatmeal costs less than $2. There's SO many options to dress it up and you can even use an egg as your liquid! Did I mention its filling and fast? Much cheaper than cereal and only takes 1 minute in the microwave. Are you convinced?

6.  Be loyal
Get a loyalty card if your grocery store offers one. A lot of the deals advertised are only offered to loyalty card holders!

7. Plan. Or plan not to plan.
I like to plan but sometimes I actually don't feel at all like eating what I had planned. So I plan so I don't have to plan. I buy chicken breasts and burgers and split them up and freeze them so I can just defrost and eat. Again, your freezer is your best friend here.

8. Shop Generic.
You don't need to shop at Whole Foods for all your groceries (or even anything at all really). Just be conscious of the ingredients that are in the foods your buying. I buy generic brand for most things because it's just as good. Sometimes I find great deals on organic items at the generic grocery stores and other times I just buy regular stuff. It's ok to be generic here.

9. Think out of the box. 
You can eat literally just spaghetti sauce. Or put it on broccoli instead of pasta. You can have salads that are just lettuce and chicken. It's ok to eat weird things together.

10. Black coffee, black coffee, black coffee.
By learning to like black coffee, you save serious $$$ when you buy coffee out as well as unnecessary calories through creams and sweeteners! Today I craved black coffee. I didn't want any of the fancy mochas or anything of the coffee shop menu even though I was actually willing for once to cough up the extra cash. It may sound disgusting at first but believe me, it's one easy step to conquering your sugar dragon

I wasn't supposed to have issues like this. I attended a well known progressive elementary school and the top Catholic school in my state for middle school and high school. Both my parents are college educated, my mom even has her PhD. The only voice I heard was "you can do this if you put your mind to it." My own biggest enemy was always myself. I worked hard and everyone supported me.

And then I had a job interview that changed everything. I had an interview for a simple part time customer service position. I walked in feeling confident and I walked out feeling humiliated.

Two things happened.

First, I was shamed for being educated and working hard. I was told that my school was "really hard" and that I was never available due to my summer class schedule and my other part time job. The tone was condescending and almost mocking. I made the mistake of including extra curricular activities on my resume and they were pointed out along with the adjective "busy."

Second, I was shamed for wearing pants. I was told that the dress code at the workplace is skirts and dresses only for women. It was pointed out that I was wearing pants and that pants are inappropriate and not allowed.

Never once did I think I would be humiliated for attending the University of Michigan and pursuing a double major. Nor did I think I would be humiliated for wearing modest Michael Kors dress pants that I wear to Church.

There is nothing wrong with being a strong woman and so I'm just going to keep doing me.